The Big Picture

“The Big Picture” by Bright Eyes is a cool song, with the best opening line. Similar to how it sounds, it’s about the big picture. Here’s the first line:

“The picture is far too big to look at kid. Your eyes won’t open wide enough.”

I really need to remember that line, especially in the coming year. The thought of not keeping up with my friends who are mostly all off to university or college has crept up on me. But it’s not about keeping up with the societal norm. It’s about setting an appropriate pace for yourself and working towards a goal. That goal for me is a Masters in library science, and I won’t get there by rushing.

However, sometimes that goal is really big, and you can’t just look at where you’re headed. It’s a little too far off in the distance, or like Bright Eyes says, “the picture is far too big”. So in this case, I’ve got to look at where I am instead. Right now I’m in the library, and while that was taking the idea of looking where I am in the literal sense, it also lends to the fact that right now I’m in high school and so I have to work on finishing it. In order to get to the library of dreams I have to finish high school. Thus, taking a look at where you are is in fact getting you toward the library of dreams. Or whatever your dream is, not just libraries.

There are two other Bright Eyes songs that spoke (or rather sang) to me yesterday while going on an adventure with my mom. We were driving somewhere out in the country, I think near Floradale, when “Weather Reports” came on. This is one of my favourite Bright Eyes songs. It’s so calming. Anyway, there’s a part that I really like and applies to me right now:

“I tried to get my head clear

It’s too full of ideas that I haven’t thought of yet

All in time, clocks keep waving their hands

Doing all that they can to get our attention

But the days fly away down a clean interstate”

This is a really cool way of saying how in the future some of can really be, so focused on what’s ahead that we miss what’s happening now. The same can be said about the past. However, like Bright Eyes says in “Happy Birthday To Me (Feb. 15)”, “Some things just can’t wait”…like going to the bathroom. When you gotta go, you gotta go!

I took out two books from the school’s library today. It’s my favourite place in the building. I’ll be reading The Brimstone Journals by Ron Koertge during the day. It’s pretty short and is a verse novel so it’ll go by quick. Then when I’m done that I’ll be reading One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, a classic by Ken Kesey. I’m eagerly awaiting both of them. Libraries have such a wonderful environment, and I want to be able to keep it going for others in the future so that they too can take out a few books here and there and enjoy their time at the library. Have you been to your local library lately? What have you taken out? Let me know in the comments below!

Thoughtfully yours,

Liv Eckert

We Are Nowhere And It's Now

So I'm sitting in room 109, the student success centre in my school, and am currently listening to the song “I Watched You Taking Off” by Bright Eyes (of course) and can’t help but think how spontaneous this whole song feels. If you don’t know the song, because it isn't all that popular, it’s got this wind chime sound and there’s rain against pavement, and this eerie screeching kind of scream that happens every so often. I can’t help but think how perfect this song is. It’s grey outside and so that is fitting with the sound of rain in the song and the screaming is most definitely me expressing how much I want out of high school. I'm ready to graduate and be out of here.

It makes me wonder what kind of society we live in that condones the want to grow up before you’re ready for it. Really I mean that when I was 10 years old I was dying to be 16. And I think I missed out a lot of what has happening around me since I was so focused on what wasn't happening at all. This makes me sad for little 10 year old me, which I guess is self-pity and I've been trying to avoid that lately. But outside of me and my world it makes me sad that so many little kids are dying to be older than they are, dying to skip ahead years to be someone else. Why can’t we just live here and now and be satisfied with that? Maybe we aren't doing things to satisfy the need for newer and better things, which is why people grow up too fast.

The fact that 10 year olds now have cell phones is beyond me. Who are they texting? Do kids that age text? Or do they prefer to call? Do they have minutes? I feel like and old fart right now. Perhaps I'm an old soul after all.

I think we all need to listen to this one Bright Eyes songs called “We Are Nowhere And It’s Now”. Here are some of the lyrics that I think are really important:

“In our wheels that roll around
As we move over the ground
And all day it seems we've been in between the past and future town
We are nowhere, and it’s now
We are nowhere, and it’s now
You took a ten-minute dream in the passenger’s seat
While the world it was flying by
I haven’t been gone very long
But it feels like a lifetime”

I could go on and on about how important this song is let alone every Bright Eyes song because I love them so much, but I’ll spare you the details. We live in the now when we are happy. And in my adventures of trying to navigate the world, my main goal is to be happy. This song to me says that if you’re going to dream in the passenger’s seat, make sure you’re happy about missing out on the stuff that’ll be rolling by. At least that’s what I'm taking away from this. That and to live between Past and Future towns. 

Anyway, I was living in the now a few minutes ago before I sat down to write this and saw a kid almost get close lined by the branch of one of the trees in the forum at my school. It happens more often than you’d expect. It is moments like those that I am thankful for my smallness. I can walk under the branches with plenty of clearance. Go short people!

Thoughtfully yours,
Liv Eckert

The First Day Of My Life

As a grade 12 student it is pretty typical for me to be getting ready for university or college in the next few months. That is what I'm supposed to be doing, isn't it?

All my life I have been taking the different approach to things, the detour if you will. And here I am, yet again, taking a detour - this time a much needed one - as I prepare for not post secondary education but instead a gap year. A year to take in the sights of my life and figure out what it means to be alive.

I'm hoping you'll take this exciting, maybe messy, and most likely odd journey with me as I figure out who I am becoming and what it's like to live life in a world that I am unsure about. As I step into the adult world of job searching and managing money, I am hoping to discover something secretive: a truth unknown to high school students, a truth that could save me from the terrifying abyss that high school has become.

I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Liv Eckert, 18 years old, Pisces, and so over high school. I'm ready for a new adventure, so here we are.

No I am not quite done high school, although I might as well be. I have been ready to leave high school since I entered it, and in preparation of finally being free, I have decided to create this blog to document my adventures* through life after what so many teens believe to be the biggest and most important part of their journey - high school.

*by adventures I really mean oddities I find in life as my bum knee limits my ability for real adventuring. But who knows, perhaps this will be an adventure in the figurative sense!

So here are 10 things about me.

1. Rainy days are ones that I cherish as they allow me to enter the realm of possibilities that books provide.
2. My graduation quote in the yearbook will be "I was only here for the library" because that is where I've spent most of my high school career, at least the parts that I've enjoyed, anyway.
3. Bright Eyes is my preferred choice in music.
4. I firmly believe that I'll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson changed my life.
5. At night I dream of zombie apocalypse scenarios and they bring me joy.
6. My mom is quite possibly my biggest fan and I couldn't ask for anyone better.
7. Weirdness seems to gravitate toward me and that is quite alright in my books.
8. My sister tempted me to call this blog my "Fiery Diary" and I almost did.
9. High school has brought me my closest friends, and for that I am ever so thankful.
10. This is quite possibly the first day of my life.

Thoughtfully yours,
Liv Eckert