Bowl of Oranges

There's a Bright Eyes song that I recently listened to for the first time (gosh there are so many of them!). It's called Bowl of Oranges and it reminds me how important human connection is. I tend to cut myself off and whole up in my room after school. I often forget to interact with other human beings. And in a way this blog sort of reconnects me with humans but it isn't enough. I need real human interaction, and Bowl of Oranges has helped remind me of that thanks to these few lines:

"I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health
I said, 'I am terribly sorry but there is nothing I can do for you
That you can't do for yourself'
He said, 'Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help.'
So I sat with him a while and then asked him how he felt.
He said, 'I think I'm cured, no in fact I'm sure.
Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile.'"

Not only does it remind me to not keep to myself quite so much, but it also shows me how important it is to ask for what I need. In this case the doctor needed someone to just sit and hold his hand a while, and sometimes all I need is that too. I also need to remember how sometimes others need that too, or even just a smile from me. Sometimes I need to be the one holding the other.

There's another part of Bowl of Oranges that I like a lot. It goes like this:

"And your eyes must do some raining if you're ever going to grow.
But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself
It's best to compose a poem, and honest verse of longing or a simple song of hope."

Sometimes you just need to get it all out. I have a wall in my room in which I took a Sharpie and wrote different things on it (including the lyrics to First Day of My Life by Bright Eyes). One of the things I wrote on what I call my Inspiration Wall is "Cry If You Need To" because holding it in isn't very healthy, and crying can actually calm you down afterwards. All very helpful stuff in my opinion! I hope some of this is a good reminder for you too, and that maybe you'll remember to ask for what you need. Self advocating is so vital in this world, as is helping others.

Thoughtfully yours,
Liv Eckert

Beginner's Mind

I’ve been working on a seminar for my culminating in religion lately. It’s on divorce as a social justice issue. I’ve done a lot of research and discovered that the majority of kids, teens, and adult children of divorce believe that they grew up to fast because they had to compensate for what their parents couldn’t do. This new found knowledge reminded me of the song by Bright Eyes called 

“Beginner’s Mind”. It’s about holding onto your childhood and never letting go. Anyway, here’s some of the lyrics:

“Hold on tight beginner’s mind

The currents far too strong

It’ll carry you along

Till you’re just like everyone

Stay a while my inner child”

As a child of divorce, I can relate to it. However, I didn’t have to compensate. I was one of the few lucky kids who didn’t have to go through a messy divorce; the whole thing was done smoothly. And while, like any divorce, some things didn’t work out well, the majority of it was actually pretty easy going. But I still feel as though I almost grew up to fast. I say almost for a very important reason which I’ll get it in a bit.

I can remember very vividly saying to a friend that I wished I was 16. I was either 8 or 9 at the time. And it amazes me how at that age I wanted to grow up. I’m sure part of it had to do with the fact that I have an older sister, so I was well aware of the different things people get to do when they get older. But it still weirds me out. Why would I want to grow up? I don’t know, and I don’t plan on dedicating a lot of time to find the reasons because I could care less as to why. This brings me to why I said almost. I still have a large part of my inner child.

I rediscovered my inner child when a few years ago while playing with my cousins. They are a few years younger than me and we get along well. One day at the cottage my grandparents were renting we were playing in the forest near it. We decided to make fairy huts using moss, and twigs, leaves and tree stumps. It was so fun! It sounds a little silly but it was honestly one of my favourite times with my cousin. Later that day, we took the paddle boat out to one of the really small islands in the lake. They had named it Magic Island, and it stuck. We all call it that. In fact, every island has a name: Magic island, White Fish island, Bear Isle, and Three Tree Isle. Back to the point, Magic island was just that, magical. There were blueberries on it, small paths through the few trees and bushes on it, and it was even tucked away in a little cove where there were lily pads everywhere. One of the rocks had moss on it in the shape of a smiley face so naturally we called it smiley face rock. There was a side of the island that was flat rock and that’s where we’d park the boat. That summer was epic. We played on the islands for hours and made fairy houses everywhere. We picked blueberries to put on ice cream for dessert, and ate our breakfast on Magic Island before anyone else was up. It is one of my favourite summers (besides the summers when I was little playing with other cousins at a different cottage). And while it was so fun, that’s not why I love it so much. I love it because it showed me how important it is to not worry about growing up, to be the age you are and even play like you’re younger. Those cousins always make me happy. They remind me how fun it is to just play pretend and use our imaginations.

All of this reminds me of the commercial I’ve been seeing lately on TV. It’s about how kids want their Wildhood back. To play outside till it gets dark, to use their imaginations, and to not be stuck inside or hovered over by parents. When I was little, my sister and I played with all the kids on the street. We were all various ages but we got along and would organize giant games of manhunt, or soccer, or football and play till the street lights came on. It was so fun. We live right by a big park so when we were younger we’d play there too and our parents would be doing their own thing at home or where ever. It wasn’t because they were bad parents; trust me when I say my parents are awesome. It was because they love us so much that they knew how important it is to have a Wildhood. And my cousins helped me remember to keep my Wildhood alive no matter how old I am.

So this is my ultimate challenge this summer, and I’d love it you joined me in it: Rediscover our Wildhoods, and do one thing a day that ignites it. We aren’t young forever, but our minds are, so let’s feed them, and enjoy it all while we still can!